Parents on vacation expect their friend to pay for their kids’ expenses, friend refuses: ‘Having children doesn’t automatically make their expenses everyone else’s responsibility’

Author image for Melissa Knudson
Melissa Knudson • Writer
Oct 26, 2026 10:30 AM EDT

Is it okay to bring kids to a friend group vacation?

Going on vacation is something we all look forward to. Vacations are fun, as you just get to kick back, relax, and recover from stress. Well, some vacations are exactly like that, and others are more stressful than the stress you were supposedly leaving behind. For example, vacations with kids are on a whole different level. If you're a new parent and you're expecting your next family vacation to be blissful, you've got something coming. 

Family vacations are complicated and require extra effort from the adults involved, even though kids tend to love them. Parents, on the other hand, tend to have to run around getting everything organized beforehand and making sure kids are having fun while being safe. It's a full-time job on its own. That's why family vacation and a getaway with friends don't typically mix. When they do, things can quickly get out of hand, especially if this mixture of events happens unexpectedly. 

That's what this story is about. A group of friends decided to go on a trip, but things drastically changed when two of the adults involved decided to bring their kids along. Expenses went up in both housing and food, as could be expected. However, when it was time to split the costs, the parents in the group suggested an even split, which didn't sit well with the person sharing the story. They thought that the parents should pay a bigger portion, as they had a bigger family unit and thus, more expenses. The group disagreed, and the whole situation created tension among the friends.

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  • Two friends arguing
    via Nicolas Menijes

    Two friends arguing.

    Scene shown is a visual representation.

  • A group of friends and I have been planning a vacation together. There are five adults, but two of my friends are bringing their children.
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  • Originally, we were looking at a smaller Airbnb, but because of the kids, we ended up needing a bigger and more expensive place.
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  • When it came time to divide the cost, everyone suggested splitting the total equally among the five adults. I disagreed.
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  • I said that while I have absolutely nothing against their children, I don't think it's fair for me to pay more because someone else decided to bring their kids.
    via Rough_Bet1422
  • Group of friends enjoying food and drinks
    via Pexels ( Via Vitaly Gariev )

    Group of friends enjoying food and drinks. 

    Stock photography for depiction only.

  • One of my friends said children shouldn't count when splitting expenses because they don't have jobs or incomes. Another said I was being selfish and that vacations with friends are about sharing experiences, not calculating every dollar.
    via Rough_Bet1422
  • I responded that having children doesn't automatically make their expenses everyone else's responsibility. That apparently crossed a line.
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  • One friend accused me of being insensitive toward parents, and another said I was ruining the vacation over money.
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  • Now I'm wondering if I should've just paid the extra amount to avoid the argument.
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  • AITA for thinking that parents should cover the additional costs associated with bringing their children?
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  • Friends arguing about money
    via Getty Images ( Via Hispanolistic )

    Friends arguing about money. 

    Not actual story subjects.

  • This is an excellent opportunity to thank our parents for taking us on vacation when we were little. As kids, those trips hold some of the best memories, as we got to play around with our cousins and have fun new adventures in all sorts of places. Now, as adults, we know it couldn’t have been cheap or relaxing. 

    That said, trying to make someone else cover the expenses of your own kids is a little over the top. Unless everyone is bringing kids and the whole trip turns into a multi-family vacation, it is simply not realistic to expect other childless adults to pitch in for higher kid-related expenses. The best thing to do on these occasions is simply not to mix the different scenarios. A family vacation is a very different thing from a friend vacation, and clearly they don’t match together.

  • Anonymous_Sad_Person NTA - split it by room, and who uses each room. You pay for 1 bedroom, a parent pays for 2 rooms, ect. That seems pretty fair
    via Anonymous_Sad_Person
  • Yardash I dont have kids, and I'd feel the same way NTA.
    via Yardash
  • shoulda-known-better I'd get my own room or stay home.... I love the hol out of my kids..... But if I was child free I would never be going on a vacation with kids, if you've never done it before you will not like it!!
    via shoulda-known-better
  • Also asking did we all seriously call me selfish when you guys are expecting me to pay partly for your children to come!!?? You know I work and am not rich right!? I can afford to take
    via shoulda-known-better
  • myself on vacation not your children, and you pressuring me and making me out to be the bad guy because | can't afford to have kids right now is beyond selfish in my book.... And I'd love for you to explain why me not being able to cover your kids means I am selfish!!??
    via shoulda-known-better
  • Would be top of my list that'd some selfish entitlement right there
    via shoulda-known-better
  • SomeCallMeMahm NTA. I'm a parent. First off, I wouldn't bring my child unless it was clearly expressed to be an all ages vacation. Second it would be by the room. If I wanted to save I would bunk with my kid. If I wanted my own space I'd pay for the luxury.
    via SomeCallMeMahm
  • Klutzy-Cookie9242 Children change the environment. You will be expected to do kid friendly things every day and limit adult beverages. Food will need to be kid friendly as so many kids have a limited diet. I would bow out as you will not be able to relax and be an adult. You will be expected to be involved in kid activities.
    via Klutzy-Cookie9242
  • Family enjoying vacation
    via Getty Images Signature ( Via Johnce )

    Family enjoying vacation.

    Photo is a representation of scenes.

  • fancypants1589 NTA. "They don't have jobs or incomes" is a comically horrible argument.
    via fancypants1589
  • CanAhJustSay NTA. There are extra costs because of extra people - that is not on you. You agreed to the costs as they were before, but you don't need to go on this vacation. There is a world of a difference between families on holiday together and friends of the same age.
    via CanAhJustSay
  • The friend accusing you of ruining the vacation over money is just spicy that their family vacation is no longer being subsidised by you.
    via CanAhJustSay
  • If the vacation required more rooms because of the kids then whoever has the kids pays for those rooms.
    via CanAhJustSay
  • Same goes for food - kids don't eat as much (unless teens!) but their parents should have their share of the grocery bill.
    via CanAhJustSay
  • I recommend you let them have their family vacation time with their children while you go elsewhere and enjoy what you are paying for.
    via CanAhJustSay

  • On the other hand, if you’re anything like me, vacations don’t come easy. It takes a lot of months of saving up to be able to afford a relaxing time off. Because of this, when you actually get the chance to have a break, make sure you’re doing something you actually want to do and not something other people agreed upon. Remember you’re investing a substantial amount of money and time into making it happen, so it should absolutely be about giving yourself a treat. Whether that means non-stop relaxing time, visiting historical places, or spending time with the family, just make sure to enjoy it to the fullest, as it is not something that happens all the time.

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friendship vacations expenses kids friend vacation controversial money problems parents taking kids on vacation Travel trip adults asking for money money parents
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